I feel
a strong responsibility writing this post. I am scared to a certain extent that
I will not make justice to Choi’s words or even worse, that my words may lack
important affirmations and thoughts expressed by him through our conversation.
I
am certain, though, that I do also have the responsibility to share this very
important awakening moment with you, I aim to transmit you a tiny portion of
thousand feelings that passed through my body and soul while talking to this
very wise young man.
It
was one of those happy carefree days in Chiang Mai for me. A lazy morning spent
too engaged in my smart phone.
Luckily
for me, a third time in Chiang Mai didn't stop me of marveling at the sights
of many of its eighty temples within the Old Town and with the excitement of what it had yet to
come, I braved the heat and left for another round of temples and spirituality.
As always, I walked with no direction, the way I believe Chiang Mai must
be seen.
Without
fail, the city has always provided me with several daily surprises in every
corner, what’s not to love about a place that makes you be in awe more times
per day that you can count?
I
came across this temple and nothing other than curiosity made me go inside with
the hope to find a specific design to marvel or at very least, some
generous shadows to hide from the burning sun.
I
liked what a saw right away and I decided to look closer into it. To my delight
as I stepped inside without trying to be intrusive given that the monks live in
the compounds of the temples, I saw a bridge with beautiful colorful decorations and a river.
It
was the first time I saw a temple with such unique features and I
decided to walk through it and enjoy the peace and quiet that the place
offered.
I
noticed that on the other side of the bridge were located the monks houses; I
could see them doing the daily tasks of maintenance and their orange clothes
drying in the sun.
I
thought to myself that it was a beautiful place for a monk to live.
I
was deep in thought about nothing important when this guy approached me and
said hello to me. I looked at him and I saw he possessed a genuine smile; his hair
was very short and was dressed in a normal attire, all blue.
I
notice he came from inside the temple.
For
five seconds I was suspicious. I hate myself for that but travelling alone has
made me developed an initial lack of trust on everyone that approaches me, I like
to believe that keeping a distance sometimes makes me be safer, however I am learning to slowly let it go and I let
it go with him very quickly because there was something about the way he
approached me that I liked.
I
said hello and asked him how he was, I was unsure why he approached me but I
have learnt in my travels that sometimes the nicest conversations start with a
complete lack of an idea of why you are talking to a certain person.
Many times, that complete stranger ends up enriching your life forever and you
realized that is good to let go of prejudices and let life surprise you by letting be
approached and to approach.
Meaningful people sometimes come like that.
I
think the moment was timed perfectly to find each other; I believe Choi was
possibly looking desperately for someone to share this excitement confession
and I was grateful to have a conversation with a local that would provide me with a real insight on a spiritual existence.
Something
made me ask him if he was a monk. I felt stupid that I did given that he was
dressed in normal clothes but there was something about him that made me feel calm.
He
said that yes, he was. He
was a monk for ten years until the day before.
This
is not something that you are preparing to hear in any casual conversation.
He
could see the surprise in my face and I suppose he was quite delighted by my
reaction, one that he would have to endure for quite a long time from people
until the novelty runs off.
Whats makes a man who has spent the last ten years happily as a novice monk to
suddenly want to be normal again?
Choi was very simple and wise man and so were
his words; he just wanted to live a normal life, work and start a family.
A
beautiful desire and who can blame him?
I
couldn’t even think clear; there were so many questions I wanted to ask him! I
could not even to start understanding the simplicity of his desire to join our
world.
I
don’t know the history behind each monk, why their desire to live a life of
sacrifice is big enough to retire themselves from the world as we know it.
Choi
helped me to understand that there are no right or wrong decisions and that
anything done from the heart is done well.
Choi
comes from a village in North Thailand. He remembers from a younger age seeing
in his village a monk. He tells me that he also remembers that this man seemed
to possess great inner pace and seemed always to have an aura of satisfaction
about him. He said he liked that; he wanted to feel like that, too.
He
said that many of his friends preferred to play or fight but he wanted to have
what that monk had.
Choi
joined a temple as a novice monk aged eleven and never looked back. He tells me
that he has been very happy for ten years, that he is sad to go. The monks
that had become his family are also sad to see him go but they understand his desire.
He
is not scared to go out there and tells me that he will be fine, it will take
some adaption but he will be fine. I listen to this young man and his cheerful
confidence and I decided there and then that if anything comes good from the
last ten years, it has to be his wisdom.
We
talked about the people, I want to be the voice of reason because, even though I
don’t know him, I badly don’t want anyone to hurt him and I tell him that not
everyone is good out there, I feel I have to protect him before he gets hurt.
I asked him to please be careful, not to
trust, and to go with his guts. He calms me down and tells me that his years
meditating will help him to deal with a bad situation entirely different as any of us would.
I look into his eyes and I know this young man
will be fine and will learn new lessons when the moment comes. In the meantime,
he smiles at his new life knowing already that it will be very complicated before it
gets easier.
I
asked him several questions about his life as a monk and he patiently helps me
to understand their day to day; their sacrifices, the satisfactions, and the
richness that lies on their simplicity.
He
tells me about a new generation of monks; those who we see using smart phones
and Internet, purchasing stuff. I now understand that a monk cannot be
disconnected from the world and it makes sense. He tells me that as monk he
watched football matches on TV and enjoys my reactions.
I think he mostly
enjoys quite the fact that we know nothing about them and yet we judge them.
We
talk about us; Westerners. I tell him about Europe, about why we come here, why
we take so many pictures of them.
I found myself badly wanting to be understood
by him on why we act a certain way and I feel I must apologies for the whole
Western world for the intrusive pictures we may have taken of him and thousands
of others.
I
love every minute of our conversation and I have a strong feeling of being
blessed that I have met him. He shows me that maturity can come in any age, shape
or sex.
An eleven year old boy knew exactly what he wanted while I’m
standing in front of him still trying to figure out the direction of my life.
He is aware that life is complicated but also knows that is not so much what you deal
with but the way you deal with it and I just wish I could have his knowledge
and wisdom to deal with my own life.
He moves forward but keeps looking back not to lose sight of who he is been and
where is he going.
I
thank him for a profound insight in his life as a monk and for sharing his
life expectations with me.
I
look back at him one more time and he is standing in the bridge smiling brightly
and waving me goodbye.
He
has decided to stay in the temple one more week to give himself time to adapt
before leaving this life as he has known it for the last ten years.
I
know Choi will do well in life.
Wow montse, definately, atonished about this post. Again, i cannot decide which one is the best.
ReplyDeleteWhat i know is that this one is breathtaking, i amspeechless.
you are so lucky to have had this conversation.
I am still speachless.
Heart touching