LEAVING BEHIND YOUR OLD LIFE; the adventures that will follow

 We have to remember is that we can still do anything. We can change our minds, we can start over. The notion that it’s too late to is comical. It’s hilarious. We can’t, we must not lose this sense of possibility because inend, it’s all we have” MARINA KEEGAN

 

I’m pretty much certain that if the tittle of this post wouldn't contain words such "old life" or "behind" no one would raise an eyebrow. I could have not chosen better words to express a change as these words pretty much define my life choice right at this moment or what I have decide to make of it.

As it happens too often, few words have big meanings. This is just not the title of my new post, this involves so much more; a personal choice, a choice to be happier, to embrace freedom, to be forced to make decisions and be brave, a choice to wake up to the world and be curious, to appreciate and be humble.

 

It took me a while to make a decision, changes are not often easy and it is commonly known that the unknown represents uncertainty, maybe a change is for the better but also maybe a change could be for the worse and honestly, who wants to head to something bad? It takes us a long time to build a life that it makes us proud. We go through the years searching for something better, often this concept of better leading us to routine and boredom; concepts where we often build our lives around.

I am guilty. I am guilty of feeling comfortable, of being in love with a salary, with the false idea of a job that brings you respect and growth, with being evolved by a consumerism that blinds you.

I have gone through years of feeling deeply frustrated. When I first started to feel that way, it did not take me long to guess why I was experiencing those feelings filled up with negativity. I suppose like many other people, I chose to ignore them and looked only ahead scared that I would be left with no other option but to face them.

But they are like discreet companions that they stay with you often, sometimes is not too obvious that they are there, other times however they punch you hard in the face.

 

I suppose they punched me hard and long because I took a long look at them and I could no longer ignore that I was living a life that it could not possible make me proud. Where was my dignity by ignoring the obvious?

I believe there are no clear symptoms to recognise when this happens. I can only tell you that more often than not I felt empty and I could see life happening right next to me like a train that I could not take because it was going to a speed that I couldn't reach quick enough.

While I am not any sort of coach, I can honestly say that I knew that the only way I could recover my life, my dignity and also my happiness was to go back to basics. With that strong idea in mind, I decided that I am not too old, too poor or too tired to start from zero and leave my old life, behind.

 

I told everyone and everything that attached me to my unhappy life that I was leading. Some were shocked, others sceptical, others concerned and many, many expressed admiration for deciding to break free of what makes me not free.

Today I have about three weeks left to fly into my new life.

 

And I don’t know where I will be going, what I will be doing, where I will try to establish. I don’t even know if I have enough money or willingness to last me long.

I have make a decision with myself; I will not worry sick for something that has not even happened yet, I will not let my insecurities destroy my happiness, I will follow my instincts and go through the next few months like if there isn't a tomorrow. I will not have regrets, I will love whenever I can, l will laugh as much as I can, I will smile to everyone who offers me an smile and to those who won’t, I will eat until I’m full and I will swim at night. I will enjoy conversations, sunrises and sunsets and I will appreciate my freedom as much as the fact that I’m alive.

I do not know what life has planned for me but right now only one thing matters; I’m breaking free of my old life and I can’t be happier.